I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
