My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
