oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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