Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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