Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
