I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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