Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
