Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
