my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
