We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
