So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
