It's Friday. Sex?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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