She's JV to your varsity
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
