Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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