I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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