At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
