he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
