there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
