Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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