Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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