Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
