so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
