Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
