Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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