She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
