So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
