I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
