i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
