fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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