my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
