i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think i have two assholes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
