I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
