i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think people are normalizing furries
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
