Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
