Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
