yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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