thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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