be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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