She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
