Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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