But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
