grandma shit on top of the toilet
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
