You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
