Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
