I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
