Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
