you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
