We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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