Kiss
Puke
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
