This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
