I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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