I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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